Walking pneumonia

As I type this, my pants are covered in vomit. Not my own, for once on a Friday night, but the poor little Ninja's.

This is not spit-up. This is not milk. This is pure ralph and this is a first.

I wasn't supposed to be writing about this. This was supposed to be a post about firsts, but happy firsts. Good-time firsts. Firsts we could look back fondly on from the future underwater retirement home that our no-good son Finn sent us to once he had to change OUR diapers. But instead, here we are.

We shouldn't be surprised. We've been sick for about 2 weeks now. It all started while I was on a guys' weekend in Portland and Kitty was watching the Ninja. By the time I returned, the house was a mess and snot was everywhere. This is what happens when I leave these two unattended. We've been battling that bug ever since, fighting it the only way we know how.

With wine.

But you probably want to read about this as much as I want to write about it, so lets move on to the real news. It's probably best if I just show you...


Yes, gentle Ninja fans, we are WALKING!

As anyone that has spent more than 4 seconds with us over the last ten months knows, we have been eagerly anticipating the walking milestone. In fact, I am regularly asked this question:

"For Heaven's sake, why do you want him to walk so soon? Don't you know that it'll be that much harder to keep up with him?"

To which I reply:

"First off, lady in the Rite-Aid checkout line, it's rude to eavesdrop. Secondly, we want to WIN PEPS."

That's right. We're still trying to win PEPS. It's now a monthly event and it's at our house next weekend. While the Ninja is still only making about four steps at a time and is pretty tentative, we're hoping that we can get him over this stomach flu and through a 7-day intensive training course before next Saturday.

As you can see from this picture, he's doing great. I know he looks unhappy, but that's just because I had yanked my hand away immediately before taking this picture so that I could catch him in action. He was much happier immediately after this was taken.

Once the bloody nose from the subsequent face-plant subsided.

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A big congratulations to Finn's morning-Mommy Kate for getting hitched to Robbie last weekend! It was a rollicking good time and Finn got to meet many of his out of town fans (seen in the slideshow to the right). The only downside was Aunt Stacy's hacking of the blog.

Luckily, we were able to keep her out of Finn's Facebook and Twitter accounts. For now.

Party Time with Aunt Stacy (by Finn, translated by Aunt Stacy)

All was quiet in the west lands of Seattle. The ‘rents had dolled up and left for the night, with mom in her crack heels, and dad in his loose tie, and Boy Finnja and Aunt Stacy had a night of food, fun, and all things Finnja ahead of them….

PARTY!!!!

Let’s see, how about:
- Dinner at 5:00 p.m. I’ll be having the delicious puree from my rock star mom, and some dry peas as an appetizer. Dropped a couple of those on the floor in all the excitement, and that excitement carried forth over dinner, which I decided would be a little bit of an Olympic sport with Aunt Stacy, but she held her own and managed to get almost all of the puree in my pie hole.
- Bottle of that luscious milk at 5:15 p.m. (drank like a sailor in port)
- Some play time from 5:15 – 5:45 in the bitchin’ kitchen with Aunt Stacy (she’s silly and chatters with me a lot)
- Lots of practice walking with help, but I did really good and was digging it quite a bit. I about gave Aunt Stacy a heart attack when she realized:
o How strong I am
o How unsteady the mud room shelf is
- But I just shook it a tiny bit when she was right there watching to see if she’d pee her pants a little – no luck. But she was a sport and just did more practice walking with me, which was awesome.
- Poopy diaper change at 5:45 p.m.
- More play time in the kitchen, living room, and more dining room dance party USA from 5:15 – 6:00. This girl can cut a rug, people. Oh wait, there isn’t a rug in the dining room. I’ll have to deduct rug-cutting points.
- Cheerios and serious time at my counter office from 6:00 – 6:10, and I did some chair dancing to the music which was ridiculously cute. I rock.
- Play time in kitchen 6:10 – 6:30.
- Then… it was time to start rubbin’ my eyes. Already, I know, but I’ve had a day, people.
- We played in my room from about 6:30 – 6:45.
- 6:50 Diaper change (just wet this time from the aforementioned milk hooch) and Aunt Stacy did zerberts not only on my tummy, but also on the bottoms of my feet and it was hysterical. Doesn’t she know where my feet have been!?!? Ah, she slays me.
- PJs on and then we read about 4 books in the chair (she’s a Literature major, apparently, and is more than happy to see my interest in books), and then – this is the best part – she managed to get my into the sleeper sack just fine (like how hard is that), and she thought she did OK with the swaddle. Heh. I let her think so at first. Pshaw. Newbies!
- We did more stories, ending with my favorite “Goodnight Moon”, and then she sang the one song she seems to know, which was fine, as I like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star just fine; at least she mixed the singing with some humming to break it up and rocked with me for a while, which was nice.
- I was pretty mellow at this point, which most people would associate with tired. I think she must have forgotten what Mom said earlier about the hyper thing, and once again: I let her.
- In the crib by 7:15, and I played tired for a bit. The ocean sounds are on, the light of the closet is nice, it’s perfect!
...
- 7:20…. Me thinks she realizes it’s a little too quite and comes to check on me, and that’s when I get to show my mad swaddle-exiting skills! Ah, yes, the classic newbie mistake: erring on the side of too loose so as to not over-tighten. I greet her standing up in my crib all pleased with myself. I think she’s fallen for my charms…. Sucker!
- She leaves, comes back in two minutes, presumably after watching the video this time, and gives it another try. Better, but she’s no swaddle master, people.
- I am not super comfortable and had to wrangle around a bit and this irritates me, so I get a little louder to be heard over the ocean waves… perhaps she’s a little too lolled by them herself. Oh, she’s a Pisces… figures.
- 7: 25… she’s back and gets to witness another round of checking out my swaddle shedding skills! I should have my own show or something. It’s awesome. I’m not fussy at this point, it’s actually kind of entertaining.
- I’m getting more tired, she needs to get it straight up in this here crib, dawg.
- Third time may be a charm… I’m getting sleepy, I have my brown cuddly soft thing that I like to have near me, and my binky situation is steller... …………………………. ……….. ……………… ……………..

8:00 all is quiet and Aunt Stacy is in the kitchen making soup.
Yes, people, it’s been a good day in the west lands of Seattle. Hope the ‘rents are having a good time whooping it up, they sure looked nice when they left to go out. My mom is hot, and my dad has style, and that Aunt Stacy isn’t all bad either. She seems to get me, and I dig it. She’s cleared for more dates with the Finnja. Peace out.

Sturgis, here we come

If anyone knows where we can get some baby diaper chaps, let us know. We've got a Ninja going through an early-life crisis. He's been out as long as he was in. And he's ready for the road.

Waterboarding

As you all know, we're not big into bathing Finn due to his insanity in the water. It's not that he doesn't enjoy it, it's that he enjoys it a little too much. In fact, he is the primary contributor to the flooding that you may have heard about lately in the northwest.

Thank you Jena (again) for providing the Finn containment device that made this moment possible.

Flying the Finndly skies

After closing out the last year so strong on the blog, I'm embarrassed by how slowly we've started this one. You guys must all be totally freaking out, wondering what the Ninja has been up to. Well, everyone except for St. Helena, who has apparently broken up with us. Harsh, St. Helena. Harsh.

The reason for the relative quiet on the blog front is due to our recent trip to South Carolina to visit Finn's Grandma Parker's family, including his Great-Grandma McCall. Being that this was Finn's second flight, we used the lessons learned from the first trip to enhance the experience.

In other words, we got the spaz a seat and a nice tasty bottle of childrens' Benadryl. Add in some soothing ocean sounds on the iPod and voila...


Of course, the Benadryl only lasted a couple of hours which left plenty of time for squirming and screaming. While Finn has developed quite a vocal range, we are blessed in that his crying is still relatively quiet and I would be surprised if anyone outside our immediate vicinity could hear him. At least, that's what I kept telling myself as I ordered another bloody mary.

Aside from the general stress of flying with a nine-month old, the trip was fantastic. We got to introduce Finn to a whole new set of relatives, including fellow bloggerkind Millie, as well as a whole new food menu - including Krispy Kremes, Hoppin' John and cornbread. Here Finn and Millie debate the relative merits of strained carrots vs. unsweetened cornbread. The big winner in this debate, of course, was their great-grandmother.


Finn also got to take a walk down memory lane on the local pipeline with his Grandpa Parker, just like his daddy did with his Grandpa McCall thirty-years ago - though I'm pretty sure the hills have gotten about 75% steeper in the last thirty-years. The family also took a (more level) stroll around beautiful downtown Greenville, home of Falls Park and birthplace of Shoeless Joe and Jesse Jackson, and the velvety voice of Peabo Bryson.


But as with absolutely everything these days, except for Finn's naps, it all went by too quickly. Of course, nothing went quicker than Uncle Scott's time on the mechanical bull. Not even Mommy's. But that's a story for YouTube to tell, not for a small child's blog.

So while Finn did not get to spend nearly enough time with his southern relatives, he did have a wonderful time and hopes to do it again very soon. Of course, next time Finn will remind Daddy to put the car keys back in the suitcase after using them to entertain him. And as a result, Daddy will not be required to dock the first $50 of Finn's allowance to make up for the additional airport parking fees incurred while awaiting the return of the keys.

See if you can pick the dumbest generation out of these four. I'll give you a hint: he's wearing a hat.

Tiny Tribe

Since I know that it's impossible to get too much of a good thing, please allow me to point you to Finn's second home in the blogosphere. This home is run by his daytime-mommy (not to be confused with real-mommy and daddy-mommy) and details the Ninja's adventures with the other members of the Legion of Superbabies: Layla, Grace and Reid.

I give you the Tiny Tribe.


Enjoy.

Happy New Year!

There were over two-thousand contestants, but there can be only one Baby New Year.


It was the hair that won it. That and he aced the swimsuit competition.