Kids these days. All entitled, thinking that they're all special flowers and can do no wrong. Don't want to work for nothin'.
It's the parents' fault, you know. Coddling them. Telling them how smart they are. Wiping their behinds for them.
It's despicable. I won't play that game.
Instead I make my kids tell me how awesome I am. In fact, I'll do almost anything for Edie just to hear her tell me, "Good job, Daddy."
"Edie! Edie! Watch Daddy jump up and touch the ceiling! Did I do a good job?!?"
"Edie! Edie! Watch Daddy blow out his cheeks and cross his eyes! Did I do a good job?!?!"
"PLEASE TELL ME I DID A GOOD JOB!!!"
Don't judge. Her pronunciation of "good job" is the most adorable thing that has ever invaded an ear-hole. I'd punch myself in the face with a brick if I thought it would earn me a "Good job, Daddy!"
As an aside, parenting pro tip #1: keep a plastic bucket in your yard at all times. It will be helpful when you lock your family outside during one of your annual trips to the gym - specifically when your son announces that he needs to go #2.
Parenting pro tip #2: teach your son to be ok using a bucket for a toilet in the backyard. Just in case.
Good job, Daddy.