Thursday, April 24, 2014

No Love

I don't know if y'all have picked up on this, but there's been a distinct lack of Edie posts round these parts lately.  It's true - she's been blackballed from the blog.  She's been giving me the cold shoulder lately and I'm a petty, petty person that also happens to be ineffectual everywhere in the world except in this tiny little slice, where I can at least wield the Crappy Sword of Omission.

So THERE, Edie.  I'll show you for ignoring me and/or crying when I pick you up and/or constantly arching your entire body away from me while looking pleadingly with your saddest eyes at your mom as if to say, "Save me from this monster, woman!"

Aw crap.  I already regret e-lashing out.  I mean, look at that smile?  Could that smile really mask a calculating, Daddy-hating little devil?

Yes.  I'm certain of it.  Which is a shame, because I thought we were still in the glory days of PO childhood.  Pre-Opinions.  Because we all know that the development of opinions is where child-rearing really goes south.

It won't be long now until we're there.  She's coming entirely off the bottle, is mostly eating whole foods - at least those that she's not throwing at me out of spite - and is more or less down to one nap.  This is the end of infantdom and the dawn of toddlerism.  Dark, dark toddlerism.

But I'm not depressed.  I know that it's only a matter of time before she comes back my way.  She's a girl, after all, and I hear that they love their Daddies.  Or at least she will once I start telling her what her Mom says about her behind her back.

I'm a petty, petty person.

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