Monday, May 3, 2010

Double-Reverse

This post was supposed to be about our amazing power over our son, back when I started writing it last week. Ah, last week. The glory days of manipulation.

Before the picture at right was taken.

I was going to write a post about how utterly powerless Finn is in the face of our awesome reverse-psychology mind games. How we had learned to easily bend Finn's will to our own and how our lives were guaranteed Easy Street from here on out.

Finn was supposed to be washing my car as I typed this.

Turns out we blew it all. We flew too close to the sun and Icarus-ed our way out of early chores and, more importantly, a non-whiny two-year old.

In other words, we wasted all of our reverse-psychology mojo scoring hugs.

As previously discussed, Finn's never been one for quiet snuggling. His "snuggling" is more of the Greco-Roman variety. This leaves a big hole in our lives where hugs should be. Enter reverse psychology.

"Finny, can I have a hug?"
"No."
"Don't you dare give me hug."
"I want hug."

Amazing.

Turns out it works exactly 37 times. No more, no less. And once those 37 times are used up, you end up with a toddler who refuses to walk another step and sits down in the middle of the road crying. No matter how many times you try the, "Don't you dare get up and start walking back to the cabin" move, all you've got is a crying Ninja with wet pants.

Not only does this make it difficult to complete a neighborhood walk, it also severely limits my entertainment options. Without manipulation (and hugs), I'm left with using Finn's toys to play Stuffed Chicken Basketball and Laundry Basket Basementball while he runs around the house ignoring me.

Luckily I'm very good at those games. I'd tell you how they're played, but then you'd know when I'm cheating and we can't have that.

In fact, whatever you do, don't you dare let me win at Laundry Basket Basementball.

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