Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Call Me Maybe

I think I've previously written on here that "happiness is" something something blah blah blah.  Whatever I wrote, I'm sure it's true.  Because I wrote it.

But I'm also sure that whatever it was, it wasn't as awesome as sitting in your bedroom while your four-year-old - who's supposed to be putting away his clothes, but is really just sitting on them on the floor - sings every lyric to "Call Me Maybe".

These music appreciation lessons are clearly working.  Carly Rae Jepsen may not be high art, but you've gotta admit, it's pretty freaking catchy.  As such, it fits perfectly into "running around the table time", which I've finally caught on video.

So, here's Finn doing his nightly exercises while singing "Call Me Maybe".  It's unfortunate that he ducks under the table and then runs out of the room once he notices the camera, but then again,  given what we've just caught him doing...

I'm sure we'd all do the exact same thing.

(Video here for you emailers.)


And for those of you that just can't get enough of the whole "Call Me Maybe" meme-fest, here's another family favorite:

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


It's taken four and a half years, but I think the parenthood scales are finally starting to tip from "cost" to "benefit".  I can't convince Cheeta here to take care of his own personal hygiene, but he can't wait to pick the dead skin off of my feet.

This is awesome.  If only he was so interested in washing his hands after going to the bathroom.

Wait a minute.  Wasn't he just in the bathroom?

Aw, nuts.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Doin' the Rookie

Ever since he was a baby, we've really tried to encourage music appreciation in Finn.  We carefully selected happening music for him to listen to, we've taken him to concerts, and lately we've taken to giving him a three hour music education class during every trip to the cabin.  And he's totally into it.

I'm pretty sure.

I mean, during car trips now, he'll ask insightful questions about the bands that are playing, he'll ask us to describe why some music has lyrics while some doesn't, and he appears genuinely engaged

Of course, that's likely because he's learned that he can head off a three-hour music quiz merely by asking us what band is playing and then watching us smile at one another and discuss what a musically advanced and insightful child he is, while he goes back to quietly looking for dump trucks out the window and generally ignoring us.

Whether or not he really cares about the distinction between a jam and an instrumental (August 10th lesson), he's definitely always been into dancing.  From our tire-the-crazy-kid-out living room Queen "We Will Rock You" dance parties, to the silent head bobbing in his car seat, the kid likes to get down.

And it would appear that his younger brother/sister is no different.  Check out these moves*:

I wonder when it's the right time to start the music lessons, such as explaining the difference between country and bluegrass, for our little Astaire/Rogers?  And will Kitty appreciate me yelling this crap directly at her stomach?

I'll have to check the parenting blogs and get back to you.


* If you receive this via email and can't see the video, click here to visit the blog.  Prepare to get down.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Cousin Oliver

OK, I need you guys to level with me.  This blog has gotten stale, hasn't it?  I've seen the ratings.  They're terrible.  We used to be HUGE in St Helena, but lately, not even a single spambot from the central Atlantic.

I can't say that I'm surprised.  Post volume has tapered off dramatically as more and more of Finn's bodily fluids make it into the toilet and less of them end up on the floor and/or in my mouth.  We all seem to have gotten our sea legs under us after about four years, and as decades of sitcom history will show you, competency is boring.

With this in mind, I've begun considering the end of the blog.  This has been a great way to share the ups and downs of learning our way around parenting with friends and family, but it's become harder and harder to find interesting things to share.  I certainly don't want to force things, since this is supposed to be fun for you and for me.

Yep, it's time to find a way to gracefully exit stage left, like Ichiro leaving Seattle.

But it seems like the network suits don't agree with that plan.  I got the call from them a few weeks back that we needed to find a way to rejuvenate the blog, to generate new content.  I told them that we were empty, that it was boring around here, but they didn't want to hear it.  They wanted me to try something - something that's never worked in the history of television, which means it can't possibly work in real-life either (those are the rules).

But after reviewing my contract, I realized that I didn't really have much say in the matter.  I don't get to make the rules when it comes to this stuff, so here goes.  In an effort to make the blog interesting again, to win back viewers and recapture the poop-puke demographic, we're making a casting change.

We're adding a new player.  Allow me to introduce, "The Rookie":

I know what you're thinking:  "We're going to need to rename the blog."  That's the very first thing I thought of when Kitty told me she was pregnant.  Great minds, right?   Upon further reflection, I think we've got a little bit of time for that.  For the next six months or so, this blog will remain dedicated to its namesake, the Ninja.

Who - incidentally - is very excited about his new brother/sister.  For now.  I'm not sure how he'll feel about him/her - or me and his mom for that matter - once the Rookie arrives.  Of course, should it go badly, I'll just think back to my departure from the house this morning, when a little tiny set of barely-visible eyes peeking out of our upstairs bathroom window screamed as loud as it could, "I LOVE YOU", as I was driving away to work.

I love you too, buddy, and that's not going to change, even when Cousin Oliver/The Great Gazoo/The Rookie shows up to start Season 6.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I'm about a week late, but please join me in welcoming Finn's newest cousin, Josephine Finn Bainer, to the Ninjaverse.  Josie arrived last week after what must have been an absolutely brutal seven minute labor.


Don't worry, Nicole & Keith, we all pay in the end.  You may think you got off easy on the entry, but let's see how the next 18 years play out.

Welcome Josie!   Finn looks forward to teaching you all about the Yankees and their inherent superiority to that baseball team from Boston that your father roots for.