Dear Halloween,I just wanted to send you a quick note thanking you for being awesome once again. Watching my three-year-old criss-crossing the neighborhood at top speed in his adorable Green Lantern costume reminded me of why you used to be my favorite holiday. The ice cold beer in my hand showed me that you still can be.
I just have one request: please install more Porta-Potties on the trick-or-treat circuit. You can totally make them haunted if you want.
Other than that, keep up the good work. Nice job with the Halloween-lame-apple-treat reduction project which you've clearly undertaken since I was a child. Much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Old Man with the Full Bladder
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