Sorry, buddy

For the record, any text you receive from your childcare provider that includes the phrases "... and (then I) looked back to realize he had stuck his hand down the back of his pants and got poop all over his hand," or "I don't know how he even had that much poop in him!", you can rest assured that you'll have a full evening.

I'm not going to zoom in on that, but yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

I'm never going home.